Sayings

  • If a man speaks in the woods with no woman to hear .. is he still wrong?
  • I can't believe Murdock beat out a million other sperm.
  • If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. (Hal Abelson)
  • In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. (Carl Sagan)
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. Then he keeps the watch.
  • I never repeat gossip, so I'll say this only once.
  • I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
  • I couldn't fail to disagree with you less!
  • Our universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
  • What is it that breathes fire into the equations and makes a universe for them to describe? (Stephen Hawking)
  • To be immortal with a finite memory is highly unsatisfactory. (Freeman Dyson)
  • Why should I care about future generations - what have they ever done for me?
  • Maybe one day we'll figure out how to synthesize a new universe in a lab, set off a Big Bang, and move in.
  • Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. (Steven Wright)
  • The three great American lies: Of course I'll respect you in the morning. The check is in the mail. I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.
  • Committees do harm merely by existing. (Freeman Dyson)
  • Your IQ is so low it's almost a shoe size.
  • I keep six honest serving men (They taught me all I know); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who. (Rudyard Kipling)
  • There is a wide variety of opinions on consultants. Some people hate them, and some people hate them a lot.
  • I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. (Woody Allen)
  • Humanity can be divided into two categories: those who divide humanity into two categories and those who don't.
  • The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I've found it!) but "That's funny...." (Isaac Asimov)
  • And finally, to my cousin Willie, who always wanted to be remembered in my will, Hi, Willie.
  • Dyslexics, untie!
  • Sure I am a freeloader but my morals permit that.
  • And this is your wife, or am I mistaken again?
  • You can observe a lot just by watching. (Yogi Berra)
  • In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. (Yogi Berra)
  • The noble art of losing face will one day save the human race. (Piet Hein, quoted by Hans Blix)
  • Everything's either concave or -vex, so whatever you dream will be something with sex. (Piet Hein)
  • I was promised flying cars! Where are the flying cars?! (Avery Brooks)
  • It's not the things I forget that bother me; it's the things I remember clearly that never happened.
  • If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
  • See you in my next play, you bastard! (August Strindberg)
  • Weather prediction will never be accurate until we kill all the butterflies.
  • I do not know who discovered water, but it probably was not a fish.
  • When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
  • Theology is man telling God what to think.
  • I believe you when you say that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you understand that what I said is not what I meant.
  • Eschew obfuscation.
  • I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming like his passengers.
  • It ain't over till the fat lady sings. (Tristan and Isolde, perhaps?)
  • The fat lady is clearing her throat. (A standard comment from kibitzers on the Internet Chess Club.)
  • Of course I don't believe that putting a horseshoe over my door will bring me luck, but they say that it brings luck even to those who don't believe in it. (Niels Bohr)
  • Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. (Groucho Marx)
  • Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
  • If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee.
  • I spent most of my money on wine, women, and song, and wasted the rest.
  • Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside. (Alexander Pope)
  • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • Whether you think you can do something or you can't, you will be right.
  • It is much easier to work harder than it is to work smarter.
  • Practice does not make perfect, it makes permanent.
  • Just because I'm biased doesn't mean I'm wrong!
 

Last edited or checked May 18, 2016.

Home page
News
Gallery
Curriculum Vitae
Araguacema
Christofer
Kerstin Amanda
Space
Family tree
History
Arts
Books
Chess
Mountaineering
Things that surprise me
Web stuff
Funny quotes
Contact